earlier in january i got the bright idea to go back to school...i decided that i'd venture to pursue my passion to work in the forensic field, and that because i've been away from anything crime scene related (besides living in the hood where sirens are blazing most nights and people shoot each other for fun; and the bullet hole in my window and wall) i needed to refresh myself on the ins and outs of investigation. i applied to UNH and by God's grace and provision, got accepted! praise Him all the day long!
So in the fall, i'll be moving to West Haven, Connecticut to pursue yet another Master's degree...praying the Lord to pay for it, but i'm willing to do whatever! if you feel the need to make a trip cross country or up the coast (from wherever you are) i'd LOVE to house you and show you around my NEW hood...once i finally get it all figured out.
the email i got...still waiting on the official "papers"
God just has a way of getting us to learn a little something about ourselves...and it may take a year, two , or 3 for us to finally get it. i won't say that my time at k-life was wasted, but i will say that it's good to get back on the right track.
I'VE GOT THE POWER
in other news...i've really been working through some heartaches. i was intentionally "talking" to someone more often than others (if you know what i mean) with the prospects that the relationship my evolve into something more permanent...well, i'm sure you can get the feel of the way this is going that it didn't necessarily work out. yes, it takes two to tango, but i honestly believe that i royally screwed this one up. for the longest time i battled the control for power in the relationship. and to my chagrin, the power struggle was unknown to me until recently. let me set this up for ya. this man is truly a gift from the Lord...we had our issues, but at the core of who he is, is Christ. he loves the Lord like nobody's business; and for that i am forever grateful. my own issues got in my way. i felt the need to fight- to prove myself. to show i was just as smart, just as tough, just...enough. by the time i realized what i was doing, this friend of mine decided he would like to move on. and i tried to help him understand that things would be different now that i was enlightened, and he says to me (completely validated by the way) "i'm happy that you realize this, but that doesn't mean i want to try again..." (my own paraphrase) of course everything in me says "why not? now that we know the problem, we can fix it...!"
but i have to understand that not all think like me, not all want to "try again," not everyone wants to give a second chance... and i have to be ok with that...
yeah it sucks, but that's life! so now i'm having to work through all the "what if's, the shoulda, coulda, wouldas. and the if onlys..." oh there's regrets, but i can't let them immobilize me...i've got some packing and moving to the east coast to do!
Bottom line, He is faithful.
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